“The Little Girl”
John Michael Montgomery
Written by Harley Allen
Radio & Records
#1 (4 weeks)
October 13 – November 3, 2000
Billboard
#1 (3 weeks)
October 28 – November 11, 2000
It’s hard to believe, but only a few days after covering the song that I named the worst single of the decade, the song ranked second on that list has now arrived.
As with “Yes!” I can also say I ranked “The Little Girl” incorrectly when I said it was the second worst single of the 2000s.
It should’ve topped the list. What a cloying, manipulative, and intellectually bankrupt exercise this is, literally rewriting an implausible viral email thread that’s been debunked by Snopes into a maudlin country song performed with so much seriousness by John Michael Montgomery that it’s stripped of even his modest strengths as an interpretive vocalist.
The idea that a young girl who watched her father kill his mother and then himself would identify Jesus from her Sunday School wall as the man who protected her that night kinda overlooks the fact that He could’ve done Mom a solid and protected her, too. And the beyond implicit suggestion that this girl was in danger because her parents were nonbelievers is pretty damn insidious, given the rampant rates of abuse in both Southern Baptist churches and foster homes. The little girl would be statistically safer at a drag queen brunch than surrounded by true believers.
I want to find some redeeming quality here, some sort of naivety that would make this record’s existence at least have value for those who need a pat on their head that their faith is good and those who don’t follow it are bad.
But then I just think about what it was like for Shelby Lynne and Allison Moorer to hear this on the radio for nine months and I can’t even give it a D.
“The Little Girl” gets an F.
Every No. 1 Single of the 2000s
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Even in 2000, when I was all of 13, I was already aware of Snopes and I recall them first publishing an article about this song. They had a whole section debunking over-the-top manipulative motivational schlock that got forward via e-mail just like this. Nowadays it usually gets posted on Facebook instead, but the sentiment is the same.
There was this whole motivational/inspirational bent to a lot of songs at the turn of the millennium. I call it “Chicken Soup for the Soul Country”. Some of it I found anywhere from inoffensive to actually good. But this one was always the nadir of that trend to me, both then and now. I hated it not just because of its origins, but also because of the holes I could see in the story. (Of course, the one that bears repeating — Jesus wasn’t a white dude. Again, even at age 13, I knew that.) This was hands-down my least favorite single of 2000.
The sad part is, I’ve known too many people in my life who’ve spent great portions of their lives consuming media like this and ONLY like this, because it’s what they think Christianity is. It’s the same people who have never seen any movie other than those made by PureFlix. And I find it disgusting.
I know I evoked it last time I brought this song up, but I’ll quote my favorite Weird Al song: “No, I don’t want a bowl of Chicken Soup for the Soul / Stop forwarding that crap to me.”
Amen. I agree with all of this. What a terrible song! Reminds me of the new Blake Shelton song, “Let Him in Anyway.” It makes my soul deeply cringe.
I just looked up “Let Him In Anyway” and it has, to me, the same “trying to browbeat God” energy that got under my skin when Sherrié Austin’s “Streets of Heaven” did it.
What I hate about it is that the singer acts like just because he accepted Jesus into his life, it’s a foregone conclusion that he will make it to heaven, but since his friend didn’t before he died, he’s begging God to let him in anyway. I know a lot of religions believe that, but it’s something that has never sat right with me.
“You talk about salvation like a birthright” is the line from Katie Pruitt I thought of immediately.
*Immediately* thought of that line. But I also think about that line at least a few times a week…
We’re definitely having an interesting contrast of impressions with the last two reviews. I wasn’t surprised this song got lampooned on here and perhaps as an agnostic, I should be lampooning it too, but I find the storytelling and the tonal shift from spectacular darkness to salvation interesting in a landscape littered with one-dimensional feel-good anthems. And John Michael Montgomery’s vocals seem like they’re a good fit for the material but I suppose I’d have to hear another vocalist’s take for a sufficient contrast.
Whatever toxicity that has emerged from Christian fundamentalism over the decades–and the list is really long–it doesn’t feel intellectually honest to shoehorn culpability for those sins into these lyrics. While I cringe at the opening passage of “two nonbelievers lost in this world”, selling the revelation at the end of the song requires that disclaimer in the beginning, and not in a way I consider offensive. I’ve also struggled with the term “manipulative” as a disqualification for a narrative twist, particularly since those who level it are often inconsistent. Far as I can tell, the only distinction is that a “twist” occurs when one likes the surprise ending while a “manipulation” occurs when one doesn’t like the surprise ending.
Does it bother me that the idea for this song was lifted from a chain mail? Maybe a little. I’ve never looked in to how closely the lyrics match to the alleged source material. But given that the last several #1s in this feature have included the recycling of concepts as trite as “I love the way you love me”, “she said yes”, and “that’s the way it is”–along with yet another Alan Jackson remake of somebody else’s hit–I have a hard time taking points away for lack of originality for this.
So…I like this quite a bit, and I suspect I’m not the only one who isn’t wearing a crucifix around his neck who feels that way.
Grade: A
I forgot to mention that when John Michael Montgomery showed up at my county fair in 2015, this song was omitted from his set list. Unfortunately, the same was true for “No Man’s Land”, one of my favorites of his. This was perhaps a tacit admission that he doesn’t think the song has aged well. I’m betting there’s plenty of fans displeased at its exclusion though.
Was highly anticipating this retrospective review for this song, and was not disappointed, considering I was expecting a change of heart of you naming this single the worst of this retrospective decade. Funny enough I recall seeing the exact same copypasta of this exact subject a few weeks ago and immediately thought of this song, probably not a good sign.
Only single positive aspect I can give about this song is that I enjoy the instrumentation of it, I just wish that the instrumentation was in service of a less pandering song.