“Somewhere On a Beach”
Dierks Bentley
Written by Jaron Boyer, Dave Kuncio, Josh Mirenda, Alex Palmer, and Michael Tyler
Dierks Bentley has, in a quiet and underrated way, become one of the most consistent hitmakers in country music today. He’s also one of the few singers out there who’s unafraid to color outside the established lines for country singers in the 2010s. While his competition was scrambling to duet with the likes of Nelly or Kid Rock, Bentley teamed up with Punch Brothers and Jamey Johnson. When he releases a song that includes drinking or ‘Merica, he does so in a thoughtful (“Home”) or humorous (“Drunk on a Plane”) way. Sure, every now and again he releases a dud as a single, but his hit/miss ratio is one of the best in the business.
“Somewhere on a Beach,” though, is bad, on a scale not really seen since “5-1-5-0.” Somewhere on a Beach” sounds like what would happen when five (five!) songwriters, none of whom are named Dierks Bentley, try to get together to write a sequel to “Drunk on a Plane.” Unfortunately, they do so without including any of the wit or charm of the original. It’s a dreary, slo-jam slog through all the expected lyrics about beaches, a hot woman and “gettin’ sun, gettin’ some.” They do manage to include lyrics that rhyme “body” and “naughty,” so there’s that.
“Somewhere on a Beach” will be on Bentley’s upcoming album, Black, which is supposed to be a candid, relationship-centered album. How this song figures into the equation is anyone’s best guess. Maybe “Somewhere on a Beach Summer Tour” has a catchier, more attractive ring to it than “The Black Tour.” Maybe the aforementioned “5-1-5-0” (somebody call the po-po… yikes) was a #1 hit and the outstanding “Riser” didn’t crack the Top 20. Whatever the case, Bentley’s track record has earned him significant leeway, so even a subpar first single doesn’t diminish hopes for a superior album.
Grade: D
This is by far the worst single of Dierk’s career. I can forgive a song like “5-1-5-0,” because it’s at least a fun, rousing country song, and I appreciate that you recognize the wit and charm of “Drunk on a Plane.” This song is a mess and an embarrassment. The most astonishing thing is that it took five songwriters to write this garbage! That sums-up everything wrong with the Nashville songwriting process for the last 5+ years.
Agree with the rating – but i’m not a fan of DB. I would probably like a lot of DB’s songs if someone else sang them. I feel the same way about Dylan, Lucinda W and quite a few others.
Ha, I woke up wanting to listen to this and had to check to see if you’d reviewed it yet.
When I first tried to listen to it last week, I hated it so much I couldn’t even finish the song. And even still, it has pretty much been in my head every day. It’s an earworm for sure, but a fun one, and I’ve since embraced it as such.
Didn’t he say that the new album would be kind of dark? I was wondering how he would do dark because he comes across as so good natured. But I think this song’s dry humor works well and it’s not all that far removed from his other material. I know you called it dreary, but that’s why it works. The juxtaposition of darker music with the beachy lyrics makes it more compelling than it seems at first listen.
I’d give it a solid B-, especially considering it’s a single for the radio. Maybe even a B because it keeps growing on me. Or maybe I’m just a Dierks fangirl who thinks he can do no wrong.
This song, to me, is really bad. Dierks’ songs have always been a hit and miss for me and this one is for sure a miss. He is not the best vocalist, but even the best could not help this song.
Definitely an inferior return on “Drunk on a Plane.” Disappointing.
Heard this song this morning on the radio. Mediocre, at best–and we sure have too much of that at country radio these days…when it isn’t downright bad, that is.
ok just wondering…Storyteller review???? lol